My favourite is whisky flavoured condoms, it would ungenerous to assume that women don’t like scotch, but to believe that anyone would like latex flavoured whisky is beyond wonder

Talking/Musical condoms. You couldn’t do that, could you?

I Love Lube. Why isn’t that on a car sticker?

Picture phones. Please don’t ban them I'm having too much fun with mine.

Paper panties. Personally I think that’s enough said.

X-Ray Glasses. Sorry getting carried away, not invented yet.

The internet. The best friend and worst enemy, an amoral means of communication. In the year 2000 51% of all internet users in the US were female.

The Rampant Rabbit. What kind of a name is that?

Furry Handcuffs. They are furry and they are handcuffs. I don’t get it.

Inflatable Sheep. Why would anyone want a sex aid that goes ‘Bah’

Spanish Fly. Wouldn’t it be great if it worked.

Fake Tan’s and Bronzing potions. equals orange sheets.

Willy Warmers. Men’s hands have been doing the job since the dawn of mankind. In the modern age we stick it in knitted sock. So what is it I’ve missed?

Chocolate willies/nipples. Why?

Men’s mag’s/Women’s mag’s. There isn’t even equality in porn.

The G-spot. Women have always known where it is. Perhaps colour satellite maps should be given away free in every sports magazine.

Condoms. Or rather the packets they come in. there should not be a need for a tool kit, Degree in paper folding, combat training in foil removal or Guru given secret knowledge to be able to get into a packet of them. Are there any manufacturers who really want us to open them?

Sex surveys. We love sex, don’t get enough from the right people at the right time in right way, end. Now how many market researchers no longer have a reason to exist?

Headaches. Got one now. Who invented those.

What tickles your fancy or turns you off let us know email us